Monday, December 19, 2005
MORE ON RIGHT ACTION
One correspondent's reflections on the practice of Right Action is the following. It shows how profound bringing mindfulness to that which normally goes without reflection brings insight and deeper questioning:
"It has been an interesting week. Keeping this teaching in mind this week has led to consequences both easier and harder than I had expected.
I have found myself thinking on how truly interconnected this world is, and how our actions can have results that we do not forsee, that travel further than we realise. Every aspect of how we live affects so many other beings. Do I drive or ride my bike today? Do I buy that tin of tuna? How do I get those bugs off my chilli plants? Little things seemingly, but big consequences when multiplied millions of times.
I have been shocked at how prevalent and how lightly-taken aggressive responses seem to be (in myself and those around me) - to getting cut off in traffic, to the neigbour mowing the lawn, to the telemarketer calling at dinner time. And those are the little things!!! These responses all seem to rest on 1) a belief that the world should adjust itself to suit our personal specifications and 2) an inability to recognise the humanity/commonality of others. I have also been shocked at just how difficult it is not to respond to anger with anger.
When 'problems' like these so often lead to anger & words and thoughts of violence, it is not difficult to see how terrible spirals of violence occur in many parts of the world. We are (I am) not so different, just different circumstances."
And another had this specific issue arise for her:
"I have been struggling with a situation for four weeks now. My boss threatened me, and followed up his thread by harrassing behavior. Whereas i tried to first just let it go, i am now at a point where i might file an official report against him.
If i file a complaint i will have to extend the unpleasantness of the situation and involve other people in it, definitely not ahimsa. If i don't send a strong message to stop his behavior (at least with me), i risk future abuse from him. Because he is my boss, he can harm me in various ways. He has done this to other people and will not stop unless someone goes the "official" way through his boss.
I understand that his reaction came from anger, and i am not looking for revenge. I just want to be left alone and treated fairly. Dealing with this is most difficult for me and has put an enormous amount of stress on me.
Ahimsa or protecting myself? Would a report against him be a violation of ahimsa? Any input greatly welcome, i'm at a total loss here."
Essentially all I can say is that the practice of the precepts (yamas) begins with oneself. That is, we need to protect the life manifesting as "our life" in order to protect "other life." An obvious example is we don't stop eating just because we don't want to take life. If we did, we'd be taking our own life, and that breaches the precept!
In situations like what you describe, the challenge is to stay centered on your motivation. You don't want revenge. That's important. Can you also cultivate the motivation of compassion? Compassion for all those he may have abused in the past, as well as potential future "victims" if you don't speak up now? And compassion for him, as he obviously has a problem that not reporting will certainly have no chance to be healed.
So you see, reporting or not reporting is not really the question. Does one report as an act of compassion and ahimsa, OR does one report as an act of vengeance? Pretty much, this is how it is for all the precepts -- it is our intention and motivation that determines the karmic consequences -- not the overt behavior.
Good Luck. May all go well.
To this personal response, my correspondent had this comment:
"I do have compassion for him. That's what makes this so difficult. Knowing why he acts like this (to a degree) and understanding makes me want to just excuse his behavior - but that would give him permission to continue and not help him or me, true. Also, i'm afraid somewhat of his reaction. Big sigh, i will just have to live through this and learn this lesson.
Thanks for the input, it did help."
And my final response:
"Glad to hear it, but I do want to clarify in case there is any misunderstanding. Compassion is always tempered with wisdom (or should be) or otherwise it is what is known as "Idiot Compassion." All this means is that sometimes compassion takes the form of what Christians call "tough love." A strong teaching story has the Bodhisattva of Compassion killing someone out of compassion in order to keep that person from committing a heinous crime and accruing much bad karma. So, as I tell my students, that means he loved this man enough to kill him!
Compassion for your boss is not an invitation to "excuse" his behavior. However, it is you who are in this situation, and therefore it is you who is the final judge as to what is the skillful response. And so I continue to send you best wishes for the most happy outcome!"
.: posted by Poep Sa Frank Jude 10:01 PM